Secret Agent Man
by Crystalazer
Summary: [AU] Set in a world of technology, greed, and deceit, Fire Country's government calls upon Konoha Agency and it's elite team of secret agents to carry out mindblowingly dangerous missions.
1. Prologue: Sakura

**Secret Agent Man  
Disclaimer: **All characters (except for the obvious OC's) are property of Kishimoto Masashi.

**--S&&S--**_  
_

_Prologue: Sakura_

"My, my…" A silky voice purrs in his ear. "What a dashing man…surely you aren't alone this evening?" A young woman stroked the sleeve of his tuxedo. Her fingernails were painted magenta, striking against the pale skin of her slim fingers.

"Well actually," He started, but she continued, hooking her arm in his and leading him towards the dance floor and into the light, where he could get a better look at her. Thick pink hair, brighter still when brought into the gleam of the chandelier above, was twisted up in an elegant knot on top of her head with a few select tendrils hanging down and framing elegant cheekbones, along God's gift of strategically placed eyebrows, giving her the look of someone always ready to listen, always curious and attentive. She was a beautiful creature, expertly sculpted and beautifully coordinated. With large green eyes and a small twist of her lips, painted cherry-red and tinted with gloss, her gaze was mesmerizing.

Kotare had always been a bit of a lady's man himself and was quite pleased with this charming young woman that had gravitated towards him. He had been eyeing her for a few hours now, and, judging by their whispers, so had most of the other men in the room. The hair was a dead giveaway, for one thing. The other was her dress, by Yamati or some other world-famous label, he would have guessed, a strapless gown in pale green that hugged her curves with branches of early Sakura blossoms streaming up her hips, enhancing her unusually rare grace. A spring green diamond pendant encased in silver rests at her throat. There was no one else like her, and at first sight, he knew she would be his by the end of the night.

The band struck up a new song and he spun her out and then back in, placing his hand on her waist. "Haruno Sakura," She introduces herself, curtseying.

"Nabaki Kotare," He says, giving her one of his irresistibly gorgeous smiles.

"Ah," She nods her head, returning his smile with a small, demure one of her own. "The heir of Tsuge Technological Industries, the Computer Empire of the Earth Country, I presume?"

"You've presumed correctly." They dance in time to the music as some famous singer began a ballad on the stage. There were always celebrities at these charity events but Kotare already forgot which one this was, entranced with her face.

"As in…'whatever Kotare wants, Kotare gets?'" She smiles again as he turned her. "I've heard enough about you to know, and I must say…" She looks him up and down and he swears he sees her lick her lips. "The photographs simply can't measure up to the real thing."

"Of course not," He replies, "I'm one of a kind, darling."

She laughs and it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. "Well, I'm still skeptical. You should think about how you're going to prove it to me."

"Alright, you've got yourself a deal." He says as the song ends, and leads her off the dance floor. "In the meantime…a glass of champagne?"

She accepts, to his delight, but then again, how can she not?

A few minutes later, a blond waiter appears, offering two glasses of champagne. Sakura tips him, pulling a few bills out of her silken glove.

"You're very generous," Kotare notes with his lips on the rim of his glass. "I like that in a woman."

"Ah, the great Master Kotare approves," She dips her head jokingly. "I am honored." Taking a sip of champagne, she turns her eyes towards him again. "Your father is too a generous man, I have heard."

"Of course," Kotare grins broadly, "The whole Nabaki family is. In fact, he has just given quite a chunk of yen to help fund a new project…" He pauses, surveying her. "It is, naturally, a secret, but I am sure you will tell no one?"

"Who have I to tell?" She laughs again, taking another sip of her champagne.

"You really are charming, Miss Sakura," He chuckles and continues, "You see, father has given much money to Raiko Corporations for the funding of a new kind of weapon. The rumor is that Raiko's scientists have been developing a kind of gas bomb, though. The toxins have the power to kill nerve cells upon contact and we are hoping to be able to use them to exterminate the rebels in Wind Country."

"How interesting…nerve gas, is it?" She nods and it's definitely the alcohol that's addling his brain because he sees a shadow cross her face. "Are you tired, Mister Kotare?" Sakura asks, looking concerned.

"Ah, no, no…" He yawns to confirm this. "But perhaps it is time to retire for the night. Would you like to…join…" The last word is lost on his lips as his head droops and he gently falls into the rhythm of sleep.

"Excuse me!" Sakura calls another waiter over. "Mister Kotare has had a touch too much alcohol tonight, I think…please call for an escort to take him back to his home." He nods and shakes Kotare awake gently, guiding him towards the door.

"And you, miss?" The waiter asks after he returns about ten minutes later.

"Oh, my escort is outside right now. Thank you, though." She presses a bill into his hand as well and smiles.

"I've got it." She whispers upon passing through the front doors into the warm, still night.

"I'll send Naruto to get you." The reception crackles slightly. "Good job, Sakura. See you back at HQ. Over and out."

Moments later, a shiny black limousine pulls up next to her and the blond waiter from before steps out of it, going around and opening the door for her. Only when the Tsuge Center is out of sight does Sakura loosen the pins in her hair, shaking her head and letting it out of her up-do.

"Not bad, Sakura-chan." Naruto commented, grinning broadly under his cap.

--

I feel so bad starting a new story and leaving my other ones unfinished. I still have about half a chapter of "Stop the Stars From Shining" to post and another two or three chapters of "Rituals," but this was a fun idea, a bit far away from the angst I usually overdose on. xD I've always liked the thought of the Naruto cast in the world of espionage, which is so ninja-esque, yet different. So I decided to play around with the idea. This is more for my own personal enjoyment than anything else, as well as practicing some alternative writing ability. I'll try to keep the characters as IC as I possibly can, but if I start to stray, feel free to tell me where I've gone wrong.

By the way, the mission in the _Prologue_ is only an introduction; it doesn't cross over with the plot (much).

_Love it? Hate it? I'll never know unless you **review!**_


	2. Prologue II: Sasuke

**Secret Agent Man**

**--S&&S--**

_ Prologue II: Sasuke_

"Fantastic…" Uchiha Sasuke surveyed the area around the Amekogan Reservoir for the fourteenth time that afternoon. He had been there for over eight hours now, since the wee hours of the morning, hoping to intercept a message from Raiko Corporations to Tsuge Technological Industries detailing the plans and production of their nerve gas. He had been given a picture of the agent that would pick up the message, a, green-haired man who was possibly in possession of a weapon similar to a lightning rod. _Interesting choice of weapon, _He had thought upon first receiving his mission briefing. _But nothing I can't handle._

It was because of this that he had been circling this reservoir for the majority of his waking hours, posing as a normal civilian. It was common knowledge that Amekogan Dam, which flowed into the reservoir, was also a popular tourist attraction in the Water Country. It was now his sixth time circling the park-like area around the great body of water, and he stopped on the bridge overlooking the dam, which had become his vantage point. Adjusting his goggles so as not to have them interfere with his vision, he lifted the pair of binoculars around his neck to his eyes and looked around.

"Do not expect him to come earlier than late afternoon," his superior had said, "But a successful agent must always be punctual. Report to the area early and secure it, make sure no one will interfere with the mission on the chance that he comes to drop off the plans before the appointed time. And when he does, you must act swiftly for the second agent will be there to pick up the message in a matter of minutes."

So here he was, freezing cold (the air was much cooler than in Earth Country, where Sakura had been dispatched, and moister than Lighting Country, where Naruto was dispatched after Sakura had completed her part of the mission), acting like he was on an extended holiday, just for the sake of a few snippets of information; information that was vital to the mission. The Uchiha had patience, skill, and ambition, which made him a perfect candidate for any mission the Agency was required to take.

_And there it was._

A young man dressed in black walked down the path right under the bridge and walked past a couple of benches before sitting down. _Idate. _Sasuke had been given the profile of this agent too. Supposedly, he was a relative of one of the agents in the Interrogation Unit, but no one knew for sure. At any rate, the moment the man made was slight, but unmistakable. Letting his hand rest against the bench seat as the other reached for a water bottle inside his jacket, he let a roll of paper slip between the wooden planks. Taking a long drink, he stood up, shoved the bottle back into his jacket, and walked on.

Sasuke waited until Idate took exactly eighty-eight paces away (the "magic agent number," as the higher-ups called it), until strolling casually down the bridge, taking his hand briefly out of his pocket to put on a pair of gloves. At a leisurely, but steadfast pace, the black-haired young man sat down on the same bench just as the agent rounded the bend and out of sight. Digging the roll of paper out of the crevice, Sasuke flipped his goggles over his eyes and activated them. The goggles were tinted, but if you could see inside, you would have been truly alarmed. Eyes that were normally as dark as obsidian turned bloody red as three additional, black comma-shaped irises, spun around nauseatingly. Unrolling the paper and scanning the paper quickly with his eyes, his goggles committed the contents to memory. Satisfied he had gotten all the information, Sasuke re-rolled the paper up and was about to slip it back between the cracks when, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a man in black starting up the other side of the bridge.

_Green hair…shit! _He didn't know if he had been spotted, but he wasn't about to risk it. The Konoha agent slapped the small brass button on the left sleeve of his button-up coat, setting off the detonation device he had planted near the bridge earlier, making sure the small pebble-shaped weapon rolled out of his glove when he pulled it out of his left pocket.

The blast from the detonation device wasn't large enough to cause damage, but definitely enough to draw one's attention for a few minutes, which was all the Uchiha needed to replace the plans and jog back to the bridge as if he had been an innocent civilian all this time. Staring dumbly at the place where the smoke began, slowly, to clear, he shrugged and walked on, passing his enemy agent on the way. The green-haired man stared at him for a hard moment before continuing. Sasuke didn't blame him.

The Hawaiian shirt must have looked ridiculous.

"I've got it," He said two hours later, tossing a cassette with all the information he had transferred from his Sharingan-goggles onto the table and turned to go, pulling a package of cigarettes from his breast pocket (he had gotten rid of the shirt, thank Kami-sama, and sometimes he wished he didn't have the smoking habit, but it was one of his only methods of unwinding, the other being finding a secluded area and just sitting there for a few hours to think his life through, but time to do that had been cut down drastically since his team had been promoted to taking missions without their mentor).

"Rough mission?" asked the officer, taking the recorded records and placing it in his pocket to give to the Hokage for detailed analyzing later, as Sasuke tapped the bottom of the cigarette box, selected a cigarette, and lit it.

"Worst day of my life." He replied dryly, but then again, he said that after every mission.

**--S&&S--**

Yes. If you haven't guessed yet, a three-part prologue. I decided that I wasn't going to rush into the plotline right away like I originally planned. And before anyone starts screaming at me, I based this chapter from the best spy show EVAR, "Spy" on WTTW11, about a course that eight (now four) agents-in-training take (which is originally where the basis of this whole story came from, so don't be surprised in the future if other elements start showing up eventually)...filmed in Britain, which is another reason I love the show (I love the British and the Canadians). Pity it's on at 12:30 in the morning and I'm never awake to watch it. So it's not copying. It's homage. Lame excuse, but whatever. And as to what age the characters are...they're old enough to smoke. Who knows how old that is in Konoha-years?

I cry at myself for being so lame, but I didn't want to make up random spies again. So I just stole some from the background. Yes, I'm a bad person, kill me please. But this chapter was fun to write, and I hope it was fun to read.

_Love it? Hate it? I'll never know unless you **review!**_


	3. Prologue III: Naruto

**Secret Agent Man**

**--S&&S--**

_Prologue III: Naruto_

'_Bah…' _Uzumaki Naruto was very ticked off. Not only had it been two days since Obaa-chan had sent him to Lightning Country (the town he had been placed in was possibly the only one in the history of the world who did not have at least a 2:1 ramen-restaurant-to-grocery store ratio), but it had also been two days since Sasuke-bastard had been given the information retrieval mission, from then which said information would be sent to him. Unfortunately, the old hag that happened to be the single most important person in the agency did not give him any directions as to what he was supposed to do until that information came.

As if to wake him from his thoughts, the DADHD ("do-all-doo-hickey-device" he called it; there was another name for it, but like he would be bothered enough to remember) issued to all agents started to beep. _Ah, finally! _The blond thought with a grin, pulling it out of his pant pocket and flipping it open.

_Dear Loyal Subscriber:_

_This month's issue of _Gourmet_ has been sent out and should arrive at your home within the next twelve hours. We are proud to present this special edition issue, featuring twenty of the world's greatest ramen restaurants and what makes their specialties so popular and enticing! We hope you enjoy this issue and for the first fifty people to post their replies on our website, we are offering a voucher for fifty bowls of ramen to the restaurant of your choice! _(Offer not available in Sand and Earth Countries) _See you next month! -Your friends at _Gourmet International

"Dammit!" exclaimed Naruto, wanting very hard to bang his head on the wall right now. As if on cue, his stomach started rumbling. "Gah…" He muttered, "so unfair…" Slipping the DADHD back into his pocket, he fell backwards onto the bed in the hotel room he had rented. As his head hit the mattress, the DADHD beeped again.

"Damn you, stop tempting me!" He shouted at the screen. An agitated pair of deep brown eyes stared back at him, the eyes of Tsunade, the fifth Hokage of Konoha Agency. "Oops."

"I should say so," The woman, in her mid-fifties and still looking not a day over twenty-three, thanks to a couple pieces of clever make-up created by the Disguise and Camouflage Department, sipped daintily at a glass of some clear alcoholic beverage (no one called her an alcoholic to her face, or even behind her back, but she did have a particular liking to such, much more than was probably healthy for a woman of her stature). Glaring at his sheepish grin, she set the glass down and continued, "Brat, (her own affectionate nickname for him, in return for him calling her "hag" to her face) upon the return of Agent Uchiha Sasuke, we have now gathered the whereabouts of the nerve glass. It is located at these coordinates…" She listed them off as a small map appeared in the lower-right corner of the screen, a small blue light blinking at Naruto's position and a small red light blinking at the destination he was to go.

"You have seventy-two hours until they begin shipping the gas to operatives in Sand. Destroy the gas before it happens. Got it, agent?"

"Yes, ma'am," replied the blond, saluting to the screen.

"Good, and, oh, by the way…" Tsunade dug under her desk for a moment. "Your issue of _Gourmet_ came…what did I tell you about putting magazines on the agency's tab?" She waggled a finger at him. "I guess I'll get the voucher, then."

"What—no!" Naruto clawed at the screen before it blinked out and went dark. What happened later that night, at least, according to the other residents in the district, was the sound of many cats getting strangled. Of course, that was just Naruto's choking yell of frustration, but secret agents like to keep people guessing.

--

"Hm…" The laboratory was dark; a figure in black stealthily slid down a wall via the use of silent suction cups on the bottom of his boots. _Old-school spy-style…_

Naruto, bright blond hair hidden under a black cap, looked around the cavern of a room, searching with infrared goggles on, by the way, for any sort of container for gas…

_Ah-hah!_

His first instinct was to be very proud of himself for finding it so quickly, but that pride diminished very quickly. There was a massive aluminum tank in the middle of the room with **"Caution! Nerve gas!"** and a lot of skull-and-crossbones scrawled across the side with pink and blue spray paint. Suspended by thick cable wires, it swayed ominously when Naruto knocked on it experimentally.

_Not very subtle, these scientists, are they? _He thought with a slight sneer and twitch of his eyebrows, but resumed his mission. _Now how to destroy the gas…? _

He walked around the tank once, surveying it from every angle. Now to wipe from existence gas that killed on contact? His question was answered with the arrival of the guards and only after he had knocked out three out of the six did he realize that he had activated an alarm as he walked around the tank.

_Figures…_He thought as he dropped low, causing attacks from both sides to hit the other instead and swiped his leg out, knocking both guards off their feet and putting them out of commission. As he faced the last guard, his eyes drew towards a series of metal containers connected to meters of rubber tubing. Allowing a feral grin to spread slowly across his face, Naruto feinted left and right, eventually sliding in and knocking the guard's chin back with the palm of his hand, making his head hit the wall and voilà, guard-out-of-commission-on-a-silver-platter!

There was, however, no time for celebration as an alarm began to blare, flooding the room in flashes of red light. _Damn…_thought Naruto, dragging the tubing over to the tank and turning on the conveniently placed nozzle (_seriously, what kind of scientists are these?)_, sending a gush of gas into the nearest canister.

Here, Naruto swore several times in his head. _Come on, come on, already! Go faster! _He could hear the pattering of footsteps running down the hallway, coming closer to him. More swearing. The canister was full. Only six more to go.

Capping the first canister securely, Naruto tossed it aside and started on the second. As soon as gas began filling the inside of the aluminum container, he rushed over towards the entrance of the lab and flung the guards against it, blocking the doors from opening.

_Damn…what do they feed these guys? _Grunting, the agent made sure they were securely pressed against the door, and almost sprinted back to the second canister. _Full!_

He did a nervous kind of dance when it came time for the sixth canister. The banging on the door was getting extremely loud, but by the sound of the tank, it was definitely almost empty. _So close…_

Halfway through the seventh canister, the door finally gave and guards fell in everywhere.

"Where is he?" asked the first of the guards to break through, glancing around. "Fan out! Find the intruder, find him before he gets the gas!"

"…What makes you think it's a he?" From behind the tank strode a young woman…a very _naked _young woman. "…Hm?" Her big, sultry blue eyes smiled sexily at him as she twirled her blonde hair around a finger.

"…Boss? What is it…" The guard behind the leader looked out from behind his back and his jaw dropped. The company stared, dumbstruck, as Naruto loaded the last canister down the shoot leading to Raiko Corporation's underground reservoir, unseen but for a dark, insignificant shadow against the wall. _Heh, _he thought as the illusion projector given to him for his birthday last year disappeared in a puff of atmospheric smoke. _Perverts… _Sniggering, he let himself up through the ceiling the way he initially came in.

_I have SO got it._

**--S&&S--**

Oh bah. Sorry this chapter took so long, but real life was repeatedly stabbing me in the leg. And I chose to spend my time watching Ouran Host Club instead of doing my math homework, which delayed this chapter by yet another two and a half hours. Anyway...as you can probably tell, this isn't the serious international sort of espionage...it's what's considered romantic espionage with gadgets and kung-fu and partying with the rich and famous...oops, I probably shouldn't give any more away. And as you can probably tell, I'm also poking fun at the blaringly obvious plot devices in old spy movies.

Lastly, I promise that I'll get to reviewing more stories from the people I have Author Alerts on. It's been a while, but don't worry, I promise I haven't deserted you.

_Love it? Hate it? I'll never know unless you** review**!__  
_


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